Feature Writer Karen Crowder – Gems of Wisdom from my Mother
From the time we are children, our mothers have a direct influence on our lives. My mom would often impart little quips and words of wisdom in times of trouble or uncertainty that always helped to put things in perspective.
If I sulked or acted disappointed for a long time, the saying “smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone,” brought me to my senses. This gentle admonition would ground me and bring a smile to my face. She always taught me that it was more fun to laugh with everyone and not dwell on trivial disappointments.
As I grew into adulthood, I started ignoring her old fashioned concepts of self-discipline and self respect. These virtues seemed antiquated in the laid-back era of the late sixties. Though, when I became a college student in the mid/late 70’s, these values began to make sense. You had to have self-discipline if you wanted to get assignments in on time and earn good grades. Self-respect also began making sense in personal and interpersonal relationships. Both became good concepts to live by.
If I was trying to make an important decision, but waffled back and forth, Mom would say, “He who hesitates is lost.” This phrase would influence how I jumped on opportunities even if I questioned how things would work out. I found this to be true multiple times. In 1974, I went to a workshop in Squantom, which benefited me by my getting psychological counseling and making two lasting friendships. In 1975, her counseling would help me make the decision to go to college. I would also have the confidence to try a taste-testing job, learning teamwork and cooperation along the way.
When I was in dating relationships, I often had doubts about what direction to go in. One gem of wisdom from her has stood the test of time–”Be true to yourself and with love you can get through anything.” This idea would take years to make sense, but when I made big decisions which felt right to me; I knew I was being true to myself. When Marshall became ill during the late nineties, our love got us through many a crisis.
Most of all, my mom always encouraged me to develop my writing talent. When I was published in the early seventies, she would say, “This could be your future.” Before she passed away in 1987, she hoped that I would devote more time to my writing.
One piece of advice I have to Ziegler readers is if your moms are alive, treasure every moment you have with them. Listen to their advice which comes from lifelong experiences. If you are not getting along, try make amends and treasure the loving bond you can experience. She can be your ally and your best friend.